"Happy
New Year everyone!!
As
I start this new year, one thing that really stands out is my wanting
to be all in, with my relationships, my meditation practice, my art
making and workshop ideas, my awareness and sensations of being in
the world.
My
first epiphany about this came during an online course I took last
fall with sexuality genius Layla Martin. She calls her course Obliss
and she'd been talking about penetration and letting yourself be
penetrated by life itself, in fact, not limiting it to the
sexual. Suddenly I got it. It was time to commit myself to diving in,
wholeheartedly, in all of my life.
My
second epiphany came while listening to my favorite relationship
coach Jayson Gaddis of the Smart Couple podcasts. He was interviewing
Bruce Tift a Buddhist psychotherapist from Boulder, Colorado. I was
blown away by their interchange.
Bruce
was talking about not trying to fix anything and instead just sitting
in the midst of what he calls the disturbance of living with an open
heart. He talked about getting to a place of actually embracing the
disturbance and it's sensation because it's a thread to something of
ourselves that's been disowned, put out in the cold.
Suddenly,
again, I got it. That to sit with the discomfort of showing any of my
creative work, without fixing it, explaining it or using it to
resolve any of my feelings of being in the world, is freedom. Even
when I have no idea what the art is about, whether it will be
meaningful or liked by other people. There's no need to concern
myself with any of that or to use it to make myself feel worthy. I'm
already worthy and this stuff I do is simply part of a package of
things that I've disowned and am now in the process of bringing in
from the dark. Because when I do, I feel alive and full. Even if
incredibly uncomfortable! Hahahaha!
Would
love to hear any of your thoughts on this. :-)))".
